Introduction

A bully is someone who purposely hurts or overpowers others by using physical or emotional ways. Bullying can include threats, name calling, teasing, rejections as well as physical attacks. Bullies will try anything to make those being bullied feel helpless and afraid. This makes them feel powerful and tough (Brokenshire, 2000)

The Mental Health Association NSW Inc reports that “bullying is a common experience for many children and adolescents. Surveys indicate that as many as half children are bullied at some time during their school years, as at least 10% are bullied on a regular basis”.

Types of Bullying

WHO IS THE BULLY?

BULLIES MAY

• Be bigger and stronger than average
• Be aggressive
• Be impulsive
• Be low in empathy and generally uncaring
• Be uncooperative
• Be those who gain satisfaction from hurting others
• Have poor family relationships at home with poor modelling
• Be from a different culture or socio-economic background than the person being bullied
• Have a low self-esteem
• Have been bullied themselves
• See violence as a way to solve problems

WHO ARE THOSE WHO MAY BE BULLIED?

THEY MAY

• Be positively over protected at home
• Be timid and non-assertive
• Be introverted
• Have a low self-esteem
• Have a few friends and allies
• Put up with harassment to feel popular
• Have something the bully desires including good grades, possessions or good looks
• Have no reason to have been bullied but be randomly targeted
• Be provocative, hot tempered, restless, create attention by irritating others, fight back when attacked

HOW CAN WE HELP?

Parents:

1. Be good role models for your children.
2. Watch for signs of distress in your child, unwillingness to attend school, a pattern of headaches, missing equipment, requests for extra money, damaged clothes or bruising.
3. Take an active interest in the child's social life and acquaintances.
4. Advise your child to tell a trusted teacher or maybe his Tutor or Housemaster or Homeroom Teacher. If possible, allow the child to report and deal with the problem himself. He can gain much self respect through taking the initiative and dealing with the problem without Mum and Dad's involvement, but this is not always possible.
5. Inform your son's Tutor, Housemaster, Year Co-ordinator or Homeroom Teacher or Division Master or the Director of Students or Director of Middle School if bullying is suspected.
6. Do not encourage your child to hit back.
7. Communicate to the child that, as a parent, your involvement will be appropriate so that the problem is not aggravated and so that retribution will not be visited on the child.

Teachers and other adults at school:

• Be good role models for students.
• Be observant for examples of distress or suspected incidents of bullying.
• Report suspected incidents to the Housemaster or Homeroom Teacher or Division Master or Director of Students or Director of Middle School.
• Take steps to help those who are bullied and remove source of distress, without putting them at further danger and risk.
• Listen to boys (individually and in groups) and be sympathetic to the reports of possible bullying.
• Make efforts to remove occasions for bullying by active patrolling during supervising duty.
• Arrive at class on time, and move promptly between lessons.
• Be sympathetic to the needs of the one who is bullied and the alleged bully.

WHAT CAN BOYS DO ABOUT BULLYING?

Try to ignore it and not show that it upsets you. If the harasser is not rewarded by your response, the bullying may stop.

If the Bullying persists

Approach the person harassing you. Tell them their actions are unwanted and must stop.

If the Bullying continues (or you feel uncomfortable approaching the harassers) then:

Boys can report incidents. Report the incidents (or suspected incident) of bullying to a trusted teacher, or Year Co-ordinator, or Housemaster or Homeroom Teacher or Division Master and help break down the code of secrecy. The teachers will be careful not to put you at greater risk through their intervention.

If boys who are being bullied refuse to remain silent, their courage in speaking out may help to reduce pain for themselves and may protect others from being bullied.

If you see others being bullied

Report the incident to an appropriate teacher. Refuse to be present in any bullying situation. Your presence contributes to the bullying.

Student Anti-Bullying Process

Student Rights

I expect the right to be happy and to be treated with compassion; this means being able to move about the College without being laughed at, hit, pushed, threatened, or denigrated in any way.

Student Responsibilities

I have a responsibility to see that I do not laugh at, hit, push, threaten or in any way denigrate other people in our College. I also have the responsibility to ensure that all members of our College community are safe and treated with respect.

STAGE 0

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The students involved are able to work out the problem with relevant staff. An informal record of this is kept by Housemaster or Homeroom teacher.

STAGE 1

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Suspected incident(s) reported by parent, teacher, student(s) or victim to teacher, class master, tutor, Form Prefect, Housemaster, Division Master, Director of Boarding or Director of Students:

Housemasters of both boys making complaint and the accused are informed. Other students may need to be interviewed, this will depend on how the student wishes to proceed and the nature of the incident.

Student making report is interviewed by Housemaster on how he wishes to proceed and the nature of the incident.

Accused is interviewed by his Housemaster, or he may designate the boy's tutor, Middle School Homeroom teacher or Division Master.

If the accusation is found to warrant action then the accused is advised of the following:

his actions must stop

the victim does not want similar incident(s) to continue

the victim at this point may not wish aggressor to be punished

no other student is to become involved or act on aggressor's behalf

aggressor is to be interviewed again within one week

A severe physical or vindictive action would result in immediate Stage 2 responses by the College.

Rationale

Punishment is likely to give the aggressor a grievance against the one who has been mistreated. The latter is less likely to report unwelcomed attentions if retribution is likely.

Labels of bully and victim are unhelpful and often the situation is not as simple at it first seems. The bully may have been on the receiving end himself at some time (perhaps from a parent). Some victims bait others and may need social skills training themselves.

The Aggressor may genuinely not have realised the hurt he had been causing and can save face through this process. Praise can follow for those who successfully correct their ways

STAGE 2

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If inappropriate behaviour continues:

Student who has reported incident may need assistance to deal with situation peers, College Counsellor or reading material.

Student who has been reported is to be interviewed in presence of his parents by Director of Students, (Year Co-ordinator, Division Master where appropriate) and Housemaster.

Direct consequences that the College may invoke include:

isolation from peers

weekend or school holiday penals

special duties (community service)

professional assistance (re conflict resolution skills)

Rationale

Every person has the right to be safe and happy within their community. Those who are unable to respect these rights in the long term, have no place in that community.

STAGE 3

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Should aggressor continue in same pattern of behaviour:

Headmaster is informed

Aggressor may need to be suspended for extended period of time or may be asked to leave the College